Disbelief
by Bellatrix wannabe 89
Summary: Olivia knows the child inside her is in trouble but no one, not even her husband Elliot, believes her. Is it really just all in her head or is something really wrong with her baby?  And if there is; will there still be enough time to save it? EO
1. Chapter 1

I own no one but my own people.

A/N I just gotta give a shout out to Kat (LestrangeOne10 on twitter and Messy Little Raindrop on here.) Love you, thanks for the inspiration for this story. This is just a little established EO 3 shot. Hope you enjoy and review :)

December 23rd, 10:47 PM

"You know I never got why Mrs. Cratchet didn't get a job to help out," Olivia mused as she laid on the couch with her feet up munching on a Christmas cookie as she watched one of the numerous versions of 'A Christmas Carol', her hand resting on her bulging stomach that held her and her husband of nearly two year's baby girl that was due in five short days.

"Because then it would take away from the whole 'Bob Cratchet being the sole bread winner and needing more money' thing that makes us all hate Scrooge," Elliot told her as he sat on the chair with a stack of unsigned Christmas cards in front of him.

"Yeah but still she should have canned fruit or worked as a baker or whatever else women did in those days and brought in a little extra cash. Especially around the holidays," she argued as she looked over at him and took another bite of cookie.

Elliot chuckled and shook his head as he signed another card. "You're the only person I know who has anything negative to say about the most well known Christmas book of all time, bible being excluded."

"Yeah but they're both GREAT pieces of fiction," she said with a smirk.

Elliot faked a laugh as he got up from his chair. He walked over to the couch and leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"You're so hilarious," he said with another kiss that she eagerly returned. "You wanna know what else is hilarious?"

"What?" she asked as Elliot reached own and kissed her again.

"This," he smirked as he reached over and snatched the half eaten cookie from her hand.

"Stealing a Christmas cookie from your pregnant wife two days before Christmas? Really?" she demanded as he stuffed the rest of the cookie in his mouth as she threw a fierce glare his way that he only laughed at.

He swallowed the remainder of her cookie. "I love you, Liv," he told her with a grin.

"Good because I hate you."

"Will you love me if I go get you another cookie?"

Olivia seemed to be thinking about it before she turned back to him. "Bring me the one with a Hershey's kiss in the center then I'll think about it."

"I'm on it," he told her as he gave her another kiss and hurried into the kitchen. Elliot looked through the large plate of cookies that Kathy had made for the soon to be new parents, groaning loudly when he saw that there wasn't a single cookie with the chocolate candy in the center left.

He dug through nearly all of them and he let out a triumphant 'ah ha!' when he found one buried deep in the bottom of the stack.

He had just grabbed the cookie when a sound from the living room made his heart jump up into his throat.

Olivia screaming his name, her voice full of fear and panic.

Running as fast as he ever had in his life, he sprinted into the living room where Olivia was sitting up against the couch, terror in her eyes.

"What happened?" he demanded as he ran in front of her and kneeled down beside her. "What's wrong?"

All she could do was point to her jeans where clear water like fluid covered her midsection and legs.

"My water broke!" she cried as a sob caught in her throat.

Elliot let out a breath of relief and couldn't help the beaming smile that overtook his smile.

"Why are you happy?" she cried as tears made their way down her face. "She's early! What if something's wrong?"

"She's five days early, Liv, it's completely normal," he told her gently as he reached down and grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. "She's fine."

Olivia bit her lip as she looked down at her stomach and slowly rubbed small circles on her stomach before she looked back at Elliot, tears flooding her eyes. "No something's wrong! Something's wrong with her, I know it! We have to get to the hospital!"

"Olivia, you need to relax," he told her. "You're not even having contractions yet."

"No! Elliot, something is wrong with her! I… I can just feel it! Please!"

Elliot held back a sigh. He forgot how worrisome first time mothers could be. It was all he could do to convince Kathy that Maureen kicking meant she was healthy. But with Olivia it had been completely different. She had taken in stride everything that had happened to her and had lived much more care free then Kathy had during her first pregnancy. Olivia hadn't panicked over anything. He knew she was just being over protective now that their baby was almost here.

"Olivia-."

"Please!" Olivia screamed desperately as tears coursed down her face. "Something is wrong with my baby!"

Elliot swallowed hard as he stared into her tear filled eyes, wide and full of more fright then he had ever seen in her. She was literally begging him to trust her that she knew what was best for their daughter.

Finally he nodded at her desperate plea. "I'll call 911."

Elliot leaned over and kissed the top of her head before he reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

"Tell them to hurry," begged Olivia as he dialed the short number. "Please."

"911 call center, what is your emergency?" answered the voice.

"My name Elliot Stabler, wife's water broke and something's wrong with the baby," Elliot told them as he reached over and grabbed her hand. "Address is Apartment 4D, Building 2216, 127th Street Manhattan."

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Elliot swallowed hard and looked over at Olivia who still had a fear panicked look in her eyes, silently pleading for him to get the ambulance there as fast as he could. "I don't… I don't know, she says there's something wrong with the baby."

"Can you be any more specific?"

Elliot ran his hand through his brutally short hair. "No but I know my wife wouldn't panic unless she knew there was something wrong. Can you please send an ambulance as fast as you can?"

"Sir, there's a huge pile up on the George Washington bridge, we have nearly all ambulatory services there. I'm afraid that your wife _thinking_ that something is wrong with the baby isn't enough to warrant a speedy ambulance. We can maybe get you one in an hour at the earliest."

"My wife's in labor," Elliot explained, feeling half bad that he was lying to the call center in order to get an ambulance here faster when probably nothing was wrong with the baby.

"Is she having contractions?"

"No but-."

"If she starts having contractions less than twenty minutes apart call back but for now the most I can do is an hour. Have your wife try to relax, take deep breaths, get her to calm down and not panic."

"Look, my wife-."

"Good bye, Sir."

Without another word the woman hung up the phone.

Elliot lowered his phones and looked over at Olivia. "What's going on?" she asked as tears flooded her eyes. "When is the ambulance getting here?"

Elliot bit his lip as he stood up and grabbed her hand and helped her up from the couch. "I'll be faster if we drive. Come on."

Wordlessly Elliot wrapped his arm around her waist and they walked to the door, slipped on their coats, and walked out.

Twenty minutes later, with sirens as demanded by Olivia, they arrived at the hospital.

Elliot quickly found a parking space and helped her out of the car, silent tears coursing down her face. During the short ride there her panic had mounted to an even higher degree.

They hurried into the hospital while the bitter white snow whipped unfeeling around them. They walked in and Elliot led Olivia towards the check in counter which was festively decorated for the upcoming Holiday.

"My wife's water broke," Elliot explained. "She thinks' there's something wrong with the baby."

"I KNOW there's something wrong," Olivia corrected with tears heavy in her voice.

The nurse looked at her with a raised brow.

"Name?"

"Olivia Stabler," answered Olivia.

"When did you water break?"

"About twenty minutes ago."

"Any contractions?"

Olivia shook her head as more tears fell down her face.

"Any bleeding or heavy cramps?"

Once again a shake of the head was her answer. The nurse sighed and looked at her with a 'are you kidding me right now' look.

"Is this your first child?"

"Yes but I-!"

"Look, I know you're probably nervous but what you should do is go sit down, relax, and take some nice deep breaths-."

"I'm not imagining things!" Olivia cried. "Something is wrong with my baby! I need to see a doctor now!"

"Well we're very busy right now, so go have a seat and wait."

Olivia let out a sob as she turned to Elliot for help as her hand caressed her stomach. "Please," she pleaded her voice not above a whisper. "Elliot, do something."

Elliot bit his lip as he looked from the nurse back to Olivia.

"Look, Liv, why don't we just sit and wait for a doctor?" Elliot suggested softly.

Even more tears fell from her eyes. "Elliot, you don't-!"

"Yes I do," he told her. "It's your first child and you're scared. It happens to everybody. And look, as soon as-."

"Elliot, you don't understand!" Olivia interrupted; her tone desperate. "This isn't me psyching myself out or being paranoid! Something is wrong with our child!"

"The doctor is available he is going to examine you and tell you there's nothing wrong with her," Elliot continued as she hadn't of spoken.

"Please!"

Elliot sighed as he turned back to the nurse. "Weill you please get us when the first doctor is available?"

"Oh you'll be first on my list," she said dryly, eyeing Olivia like she had grown three heads.

"No!" Olivia cried. "Something is wrong with her!"

"Liv, come on," Elliot muttered, starting to let a bit of his annoyance shine though. "Let's just go sit down."

Olivia turned towards her husband and narrowed her eyes dangerously at him. "Something is wrong with our child and you're acting like I'm making it up."

"No I just know that nothing is wrong with her and you're just being paranoid because your water broke five days early. Now let's go sit down and relax alright?"

He reached out to wrap his arm around her waist but she slapped his hand away. Glaring crossly at him she stormed towards the waiting room chairs and sat down, her hand gently rubbing circles over her stomach a bit more frantically then she had ever done before.

"A hell of a winner you picked there," the nurse mumbled just loud enough for Elliot to hear.

Elliot turned towards her and narrowed his eyes angrily. "Yeah I did actually and if you insult my wife again we're gonna have trouble."

Shaking his head he turned and walked over to Olivia.

"If Kathy had said something was wrong when she was pregnant I bet you would have listened to her," Olivia muttered as Elliot sat down beside her.

Elliot rolled his eyes but decided not to say anything against her. He reached over and tried to grab her hand and she grudgingly allowed him to hold her hand.

An hour later a doctor finally walked out to the waiting room. Olivia's tears hadn't stopped falling… "Olivia Stabler?" he called out.

Elliot got up and helped Olivia up from her chair and the two walked over to the doctor who smiled at her. "I'm Doctor Reynolds. How you feeling today, Mrs. Stabler?"

"Something is wrong with my baby," Olivia told him. "Please, you have to help her!"

The doctor nodded and led her into one of the private exam rooms in the maternity ward.

"When did you water break?"he asked as Olivia sat on one of the beds.

"About an hour and a half ago."

"And any contractions so far?"

"No."

"And no bleeding right?"

"No but I know something wrong with her!"

'Okay, okay, just relax alright?" the doctor told her calmly. "If something's wrong I promise to take care of it. Lie down and lift up your shirt please."

Olivia did as he requested and lifted up her shirt until her whole stomach was exposed. Elliot held her hand and watched as the doctor grabbed the bottle of lubricant and squeezed it on her stomach before he grabbed the smaller part of the ultra sound and placed it on her stomach.

"Why isn't she moving?" Olivia demanded as the picture came up on the screen to show the baby inside her completely still. "Why isn't my baby moving?"

"I'm sure she's probably just sleeping," the doctor told her with smile. "Well turn on the audio and you'll hear her heartbeat alright?"

The doctor reached over and flipped on a switch on the monitor portion of the ultra sound and the room was dead silent.

When the machine was silent for several moments with only the sound of low rumblings his smile fell.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked, her voice getting choked up. "Why can't I hear her heart beat?"

The doctor didn't answer her and instead reached for another instrument and stuck two squares to either side of Olivia's stomach.

He flipped it on and at once the horrifying sound of a flat line echoed in the room.

"What's wrong with her!" Olivia screamed as the doctor ripped off the pads and rushed towards the door.

"I need a surgical team and a gurney in here now!" he shouted out into the hall before rushing back to a sobbing Olivia and a stunned Elliot who could barley comprehend what was happening around him.

Olivia had been right. She had told him something was wrong with their child and he hadn't believed her. He couldn't even begin to think about if their daughter didn't make it and he had insisted for nearly an hour and a half there was nothing wrong with her when something could have been done to save her.

"What's wrong with my baby?" Olivia sobbed, ripping Elliot's thoughts away from him. "What's wrong with her?"

"She'll be fine," Elliot assured her as his own voice cracked. "Just hang on, okay? Hang on, Liv." He leaned down and kissed the top of her head but his words did nothing to console her.

A team of four doctors and two nurses rushed into the room and Reynolds ran to her head. "Hold still okay, Olivia? One, two, three, lift!"

All six people lifted the sheet she was in and plopped her onto the gurney and began to roll her quickly from the room with Elliot at the head holding her hand.

"I can't- I can't lose her!" Olivia sobbed desperately.

"We won't!" Elliot assured her as they rolled her into one of the rooms and up to the bed. They did another count and lifted her onto the bed.

They immediately cut away her jeans and lifted up her shirt and once again fitted the tiny squares on either side of her stomach, the sound of a flat line echoing once more.

Olivia sobbed desperately as Elliot held her hand and stroked the hair from her face. "She'll be fine," he promised her. "Liv she'll be fine, I promise!"

"You didn't believe me!" she cried as they fitted a mask over her face. "Why didn't you believe me!"

"I'm sorry!" Elliot cried as his own tears made their way down his face. "Baby, I'm so sorry!"

With a few unintelligible grumbles her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she fell unconscious.

"Olivia!" he shouted his eyes wide and full of panic.

"She's fine, she's just under anastethia," one of the nurses assured him as they removed the mask and fitted it with a breathing mask. "But you're gonna have to get out."

"I'm her husband and the father!" Elliot protested.

"And if it was a normal birth you'd be more than welcome but this is high risk emergency C-Section and you're not allowed to be in here."

Elliot ran a hand through his hair as he looked down at his unconscious wife, his eyes traveling to her swollen stomach.

"Sir, we can't start the surgery until you're out of the room," one of the doctors told him with an air of desperation.

With tears in his eyes Elliot left the room with the door shutting behind him. He only got a quick glance at her before someone shut the blinds. Tears fell from his eyes as he struggled for them to remain silent. He would never forgive himself if their daughter didn't survive this and he knew Olivia would never forgive him either. If he had just believed her when she said something was wrong maybe they could have saved her earlier…

Elliot shook his head as he pushed the thought away. They WERE going to save his daughter. She was going to be fine. He HAD to believe that. He had done too much doubting in the last hour and a half to last him a lifetime…

With a sigh Elliot began the torturous long wait outside the room waiting desperately on news of his daughter…

Please Review


	2. Chapter 2

I own no one but my own people

A/N WOW! Thanks so much for all your reviews! And I really do mean ALL of them :) Shout out to Dark Passenger who gave me some very helpful advice with this fic. Hope you enjoy this update as much as I enjoy your reviews :)

Elliot felt like he had ADD. His body and mind were restless and he hadn't sat or stood in the same spot for more than minutes at a time. First in the arm chair out in the waiting room, then to the nurses' station to find out if they had heard anything, a brisk walk down the hall and back to the nurses station, then a quick walk around the room and then back to the nurses' station.

The first two times the nurse told him that when she got any information she would tell him. After the third time, his desperate pleading eyes moved her enough to walk from her station to the room where Olivia was being worked on.

That had been five minutes ago and the kind nurse had yet to return and Elliot stood at the counter nervously tapping his foot while drumming his long fingers on the top of the desk.

"Look will you knock it off!" another waiting patron, a young man in his mid twenties, barked at him. "That's really starting to piss me off!"

Elliot turned sharply and glared so furiously at his interrupter that the man literally shrank back in his seat and didn't say another word the rest of the time Elliot was there.

Waves of guilt washed over the detective. How the hell could he have been so stupid? Olivia knew there was something wrong with the child inside her and he had brushed it off as nothing. He didn't believe her and now, because of Elliot treating her the worst he had ever treated her in their short marriage, their child was in danger to the point where he wasn't sure if either his wife or daughter would come out of this ordeal alive.

Tears welled in his eyes as he struggled to take a breath. His hands clenched the counter so tight his knuckles turned as white as the falling snow outside. He would never forgive himself if something; no not something. If ANYTHING happened to either of them because of his failure to trust the woman he loved more than any other on this earth.

He also knew Olivia would never forgive him if anything happened to their daughter. She would blame him, justifiably, and would hate him more than she ever hated anyone else for the rest of her life. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if she ever left him for this, which she would the moment the doctor gave them word that anything was wrong with their daughter and his inability to believe her had been the cause of it.

Elliot knew Olivia wouldn't go off on a suing spree if... if the worst possible thing happened to their daughter, Elliot couldn't even bare to think of the 'D' word or any of its tenses in regards to his child. She knew collecting money that was in all honestly rightfully hers from everyone from the ambulance company, to the nurses, to Elliot himself wouldn't help her get over… that and she wasn't going to pretend that it would. No. She would just do the one thing that he feared she would the moment they said 'I do' to one another. Olivia would hate him and leave him forever, leaving him only with the incomprehensible guilt for the rest of his life because he would be the one responsible for… for losing their child.

Elliot's thoughts seemed to scream louder at him as the seconds slowly ticked by. He wanted to drop to his knees and scream out to the heavens to forgive him for causing this and to not let his newest daughter and wife take what should be his punishment. He wanted to beg and sob and scream and cry and plead for somebody, anybody, to tell him what was happening and disrupt the ever intensifying angry thoughts that came from the very depths of him.

But all he could do was stand there until news arrived on the two of them and the longer time he waited, the longer he grew more impatient. He just began to consider the idea of storming down the hall to the operating room slam the door open and demand, with his fists if necessary, just what the hell was taking so long when the nurse returned with the doctor who had first discovered there was something wrong with their baby.

Elliot sprinted up to them, stopping an inch in front of them. He didn't even give them a moment to speak. "How are they?" he demanded. "Are they okay? How's Olivia? How's our daughter?"

The doctor held up a hand to silence him. Normally this would have been cause for Elliot's number one priority at the moment to shift into 'be sure to shush asshole as soon as you have a chance' but right now he didn't care. He needed to know…

The doctor removed his mask and Elliot felt the entire world before him spin as the doctor looked at him not with a relieving smile that told him everything was going to be okay, but a sorrowful mourning look that told Elliot he had better prepare himself for devastating bad news…

"Olivia's fine," the doctor told him. His voice was just as unhappy as the frown on his lips. "She's out of surgery and resting comfortable right now."

"And my daughter?" Elliot couldn't get his normally loud deep voice above that of a strained whisper.

The doctor shook his head. "We're not sure what's wrong with her, Mr. Stabler. She's not breathing on her own, her heart beat is basically nonexistent, she can't move… if it wasn't for machines doing all of that for her, she wouldn't even be alive right now."

Elliot stumbled back into the counter, his chest heaving. Tears streamed down his face and he made no effort to wipe them away nor did he feel any shame or guilt about the badges of cowardice he normally expertly hid. The world swirled before him even more violently and he felt his whole body lurch forward.

Elliot collapsed to his knees and at once felt the doctor who delivered the devastating news rush up to him. "We need a stretcher over here!" Elliot heard the doctor shout.

Elliot shook his head. "No." He couldn't get his frail voice above a soft whisper he could barely hear himself. His eyes closed and he forced himself to speak louder. "No!"

His shout paused the doctor and Elliot struggled to his feet, stumbling around as if he were a drunken man trying to catch his step. Elliot finally caught himself and turned towards the stunned Doctor. "I'm fine," he rasped. He cleared his throat before he spoke again. "I swear. I need to see them. I need to see my wife and daughter… Where are they?"

The Doctor put his hands out to stop Elliot who glared menacingly at him. "Tell me where they are," he snarled.

The doctor opened his mouth to protest but the nurse spoke up before he had a chance. "Your daughters in the NICU, she's still being worked on and you can't see her yet but your wife is in room 417. That's gonna be down the hall and the tenth door on the left."

Without wasting a single moment on niceties Elliot hurried down the hall to the room that the nurse had given him. He stopped outside correct room and swallowed hard. The shades were drawn and the door was shut. All he could hear was the faint beeps of the medical equipment that Olivia was hooked up to.

Elliot swallowed whatever fear and anxiety that had built up inside him and slowly opened the door before walking in the room.

Olivia was staring out the window the opposite end of the room. She didn't even register as Elliot walked over to the bed and got on his knees beside her.

Her arms were wrapped around her stomach that was now considerably flatter while her own tears streaked her pale careworn face. She made no signs of life as Elliot reached out and grasped her hand that didn't have the IV in it.

Elliot's lips parted and closed in several time, each feeble attempt to even say one word to her useless. What could you say to the woman whose life you may have easily destroyed when you were supposed to love and cherish and honor that same woman until you both parted from the earth?

After several long moments in which Olivia expertly ignored her husband's presence, Elliot took a long shuddering breath. Using every last ounce of strength that hadn't been ripped violently away from him when the doctor told him the news about his daughter, he made himself speak to her.

"I'm sorry." His voice was little above that of a faint whisper but Elliot knew Olivia had heard it. She still expertly ignored him as if she were the only one in the room. Her ignorance of his presence gave him just the tiniest bit of strength he needed to talk to her again. "There's no excuse in the world for what I did and for how I let everyone else treat you. I should have trusted you when you said there was something wrong with her. I'm supposed to be the one person you know you can count on when everyone else fails you and I wasn't and…" Tears flooded his eyes again and he took a shaky breath as he wiped them away. His voice was stained heavily with his tears and he let out a choked sob as he spoke. "And now our daughter might… might be hurt because of me and I would do anything to take back what I did."

When she ignored him further he clutched her hand tighter than before while his tears fell more heavily. "Olivia, please look at me! I know you hate me right now and I deserve it! Okay I hate myself for it and I know you can never forgive me for it but please just look at me!"

When she still refused his pleading words Elliot bowed his head and bit his lip in a pathetic attempt to stop crying in front of her. He had no right to cry and be the weak one in front of her. Elliot lost that right the moment he told Olivia there was nothing wrong with the innocent life inside her. When he looked back up at her she was still facing the wall, her tears hadn't slowed down or sped up as Elliot's had done when he laid eyes on her.

Elliot brought her hand up and planted a light kiss on the soft skin before he set it back down on the bed. Without another word to his wife Elliot got up from the floor and moved towards the door. His hand just grasped it when she spoke.

"They didn't even let me hold her." Although it was her voice it sent a shuddering chill through Elliot. It was cold, hardened; defiantly not the voice of the woman he had fallen in love with. Elliot turned back towards her and swallowed hard at the look on her face. Olivia looked lost and distraught but there was an eerie almost calming stillness to her. Elliot would have lied if he said it hadn't of frightened him.

"They took her away from me before I woke up." She spoke so softly that he almost missed it. Her words laced with more pain then Elliot ever thought he would hear if he lived a thousand years and then some. "I haven't even gotten to see her yet."

"You'll see her soon, Liv," Elliot told her softly as he grasped her hand again, gently running his thumb over hers. "They're still working on her."

Olivia ignored his words. She was looking at him but it was with a thousand yard stare. While her eyes fell on him she was looking far past her husband…

"I haven't even gotten to hold her," she mused softly. "And they already want me to kill her."

For the first time since Elliot had known Olivia he was truly frightened for her sanity. He struggled not to appeared shock as well as appalled at her last words. Elliot cleared his throat and licked his suddenly dry lips. "What… what do you mean? Who wants you to kill your daughter?" he asked, adding an extra emphasis on the word 'your' as if to remind Olivia just who she was talking about.

"The doctors," she muttered, still staring well beyond him and the room itself. "After I woke up the doctor told me she couldn't breathe or move or eat or anything on her own. That if it wasn't for the machines keeping her alive she wouldn't be here. They told me that… that she was better off without the machines. That I would be doing her the biggest act of love a mother could do for her child if I told them to pull the plug."

Elliot saw red. A passionate burst of color blinded him. An intense rage he far greater than he had ever felt before consumed every minute part of him. Elliot's hands began to tremble madly and he took a long moment to desperately try to calm down before he spoke. "You… you told them no right?"

For the first time since he entered the room she finally was totally and fully looking at him. Her eyes were narrowed in intense dislike and fury. "What?" she spat cruelly, and even in his madness he knew he deserved every poisonous word that left her mouth. "You care what happens to her now that's she's here? I thought you religious nuts said life begins at conception but apparently not with your own child right?"

"I always cared about her. Since the moment you told me you were pregnant I cared about her but Olivia." His voice was strained with tears and anger. "Don't do this. Don't do something you and I both know you are going to regret the rest of your life. Don't pull the plug…"

"You're the reason who she's in this… this coma thing right now! You did this," she spat viciously. "You do not get to tell me what to do when it comes to my child!"

"I'm sorry!" Elliot pleaded as tears flooded his eyes as he got to his knees once more and grasped her hand tighter. "I know that word is meaningless no matter how many times I say it and it won't help her but please! Please don't make the wrong choice because you're mad at me! Don't… don't kill our daughter just to get back at me!"

"YOU KILLED HER!" screamed Olivia as she twisted her hand away from his hold. Desperate heaving sobs escaped her as she struggled to throw her venomous words at Elliot. "You killed her when you didn't believe me back at the apartment and every time you said you didn't believe me after that!"

"I'm sorry!" Elliot shouted making her sob even louder and turn away from her. He wasn't angry with her in the slightest twinge of regard but it was too much for him. Elliot scampered into the bed next to her and hugged her as tight as his body would allow.

"Let go of me!" Olivia screamed as she tried desperately to pull away from his embrace. Her breath nothing more than hitched sobs as she struggled to get away from his grasp but he refused. The birth had left her far too weak to even put up a half way decent fight.

"You can hate me all you want." Elliot's voice was a shaking whisper low in her ear as his tears mingled with her hair. "I hate myself for everything I've done so far and if you want to punish me for what I did to you then I'll call Alex right now and have her draw up divorce papers. You will never see me or hear from me again save for a check that'll come in the mail every two weeks. You'll get full custody of her with no arguments ever."

Elliot's own words frightened him with a dark dreary future without Olivia and one of his children. But even as his thoughts turned to him moving away from New York so she never had even the slightest chance of ever seeing him again, missing his daughter grow up to become the strong, brave, independent woman that Olivia would teach her to be, never again seeing the true love of his life, he didn't wish for a single solitary moment that she would say no to his demands.

Elliot took a long deep breath before he continued. "But don't… don't give up on her, Olivia. Not yet. You didn't before when everyone was telling you to, don't do it now. Please… Don't do this to her. Don't make her pay for my mistakes."

Olivia finally broke down as well and wrapped her arms around him tight, her heavy desperate sobs rocking the two of them. "Why didn't you just believe me? Why didn't you trust me about her?"

Those words cut through him more so than any other words before then. "I don't know," he breathed, his voice breaking with his own tears. "I should have and I didn't. I'm sorry. God and Heaven, forgive me, I'm sorry…"

As Olivia and Elliot sat there wrapped tightly in on another's embrace, the only thing that was holding them down to this earth, they wept. They wept for each other, for themselves, for the dreadful unforgiving hand in life they were being forced to play, but most of all for the little tiny girl who was lying in a bed no bigger than a dresser drawer who neither of them were sure if she would ever have the chance to wake up…

Please Review.


	3. Chapter 3

I own no one but my own people

A/N I know I said only a 3 shot but it wasn't letting me end where I wanted it to end nicely so we got this chapter left then one more that WILL be done before Christmas… hopefully lol. Read, review, enjoy :-)

Elliot awoke with Olivia buried deep in his arms. He rubbed the tired from his eyes as he looked at his watch and groaned. It had just past 4:30 meaning they had wasted the first few hours of what could be the only Christmas Eve left with their daughter sleeping.

Elliot shuddered at the depressing thought enveloped him and he forced it from his worrisome mind. Their daughter was going to be fine. She had to be. Elliot would never be able to live with himself if she wasn't and he knew Olivia would never forgive him if he was the cause of their first child's death.

Elliot swallowed his fear and moved to sit up in the already small bed waking Olivia in the process.

The brunette stirred slightly before her eyes opened slightly letting only a sliver of brown shine through.

"Hey," Elliot breathed as he pushed a piece of hair from her face. "How you feeling?"

"How's the baby?" she mumbled drowsily ignoring his question. Even in a half dazed state her daughter was her first and only priority.

"I'm not sure," Elliot whispered softly as he lain back down and gathered her in his broad arms again. "The Doctor's haven't been in to tell us anything I don't think. But are you-?"

"I wanna see her," Olivia interrupted as she let out a stifled yawn. "She shouldn't be alone. Not so close to Christmas…"

Elliot nodded as he entwined her hand in his. He was just about to reach over and press the call signal when Doctor Reynolds walked in the room holding a clipboard that was full to its brim of paperwork. A look of hopeless melancholy set deep in his features.

"How's my baby?" Olivia asked before the door shut behind him.

Reynolds sighed as he walked over to the duo. His eyes shone with grief as he spoke. "She's stable for now but she's not breathing on her own and her heart is being pumped by machines. She's still in the coma."

A sob caught in Olivia's throat and Elliot bowed his head as tears jumped to his eyes. He went to hold her hand but she wrenched it away from him and even more sorrow filled Elliot's heart at the subtle but screaming loud action.

Reynolds took a deep breath before he continued. "Other medical professionals and I agree that heroic measures should not be taken with your daughter. We have no idea what caused it and no idea how to make her better and I believe it would be the right thing for you to do if you stopped treatment, Mrs. Stabler."

Elliot's head snapped and he glowered furiously at the Doctor.

"We're not giving you permission to kill our child to make your job easier!" snarled Elliot as his embrace on Olivia tightened.

Reynolds ignored Elliot and focused solely on Olivia who bowed her head while tears fell from her eyes onto the thin blanket wrapping her in its warmth. "Mrs. Stabler, you're her mother. You know, deep down, no matter how hard you want to fight it, that this is the right thing to do."

Her voice was shaking and even more tears fell onto the cheap material. A quivering breath escaped her before she looked up at the Doctor who was truly heartbroken for the two parents in front of him. "Can I see her?"

Reynolds nodded before he walked over and retrieved a wheelchair from the bathroom. Elliot cast his eyes to Olivia who still bowed her head. "Olivia, tell him no," he prompted her softly. "Tell them you don't want them to stop saving our daughter."

Olivia remained unvoiced as silent tears rolled down her face. "I just wanna see her." Her voice was shaking and desperate, like she was begging him not for forgiveness, but for understanding for something she was about to do.

Elliot's breath hitched in his throat. His heart pounded ruthlessly against his chest. He gripped her hand as if it were only her presence that held him to this earth and he would fly away if he let go. "Baby, why aren't you telling them no?" he pleaded desperately. "Tell them you want them to save her! Tell them!"

"Please," breathed Olivia. "I just wanna see her. That's all I want to focus on right now."

Elliot's eyes grew wide as Reynolds rolled over the wheel chair over to the bed. Olivia sat up and the Doctor helped her into the chair while Elliot looked on completely stunned to say the least.

"Olivia." Olivia turned away from him when she heard the tears in his usually unwavering voice. "Please. Please don't do this!"

"I want to see my daughter!" cried Olivia as she turned towards her husband. "I'm not gonna say anything about it until I do! Please, Elliot! Just let me see her…"

Elliot bit his lip to keep from saying anything more and instead gave her a solemn nod and followed silently to the NICU. They reached a small hospital room and Reynolds hesitated for a short moment before he opened the heavy wooden door and led the two Detectives in.

Olivia gasped at the sight before her. Inside the small room was a tiny bed no bigger than a dresser drawer with white metal bars on all four sides. Their daughter clad only in a diaper and a pink stocking cap with wispy dark brown hair as soft as kitten fur poked out from underneath it, laid down upon it and was hooked up to what seemed to be a thousand different machines and an IV that was stuck deep into her small pale arm. Her eyes that Olivia pictured to be the dazzling blue shade of her father's were closed and her small chest rose steadily matching the rhythm of the breathing machine.

Olivia's hand rose to her mouth as silent tears streamed down her face. She rose from her chair, Reynolds and Elliot's protest falling deaf upon her ears. She made her way over to her daughter and gently grasped the hand that didn't have the IV in it.

"My beautiful angel," Olivia breathed almost as if she was afraid that speaking too loud would further pain her child. Olivia took a trembling breath as she kneeled down besides the medical crib gently stroking her daughters soft as silk tiny hand. "Is… is she in pain?" she asked as sobs caught in her throat.

"We're not sure," Reynolds told her as he clasped his hands in front of his brilliantly white lab coat. "She isn't responding to any painful stimuli and the readings are off on the machines because her brain doesn't comprehend what pain is yet seeing as how she never experienced it."

"But she could be?"

"It's a possibility."

A heaving sob left her as she turned back to her daughter. "I don't want her to hurt…"

"They don't know if she's in pain," Elliot protested with an edge of hysteria in his voice. "She could also just feel like she's sleeping right?"

Reynolds nodded "that's a possibility as well."

Olivia ran a shaking hand through her disheveled hair. "If she wakes up-."

"When she wakes up!" Elliot corrected as he struggled to hide a snarling growl. He didn't want to sound angry at Olivia because he wasn't. In any way, shape, or form. But she was taking far too long to tell Reynolds 'keep our baby alive' then Elliot was comfortable with. It was almost as if she was having second guesses.

Olivia's eyes closed as more tears leaked out before she reopened them. "If she wakes up." Her voice was shaking so madly it was all Elliot could do to understand her much less interrupt her. "Will she be okay?"

"Again I'm not sure."

"You're not sure about much of anything are you?" Elliot spat but Reynolds ignored his bitter comment and continued as if Elliot hadn't of interrupted.

"We're not sure how long her brain was deprived f oxygen," he began, " how long her heart stopped, how long motor senses were nonexistent not to mention the fact we don't know what caused this. If she wakes up she could be perfectly fine or she could have a lot of problems mentally and physically but the likelihood of her being without problems is slim."

Olivia nodded as his seemingly hopeless words sank in. She turned back to her daughter and ran one of her fingers across her cheek. "Can I hold her?" asked Olivia meekly.

Reynolds nodded as he went over and carefully grabbed the baby and Olivia held out her arms. "Be careful with her," Reynolds warned, "don't pull out any of the tubes or the IV."

Olivia nodded as the Doctor gently laid the infant in Olivia's waiting embrace. Olivia held her tight against her chest and she bit her trembling lip in a desperate attempt not to sob. "Hey, beautiful," Olivia whispered faintly as she gently rocked the newborn as if she needed to be soothed. "Welcome to the world. I'm… I'm just really sorry it had to be like this though."

Elliot walked over to her and Olivia tensed as he approached. He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and looked down at their daughter.

"She's perfect," he muttered as he reached down and grabbed her hand. Tears leaked from his eyes as he half expected her to form a tiny fist around his finger like all of his other children had done the first time he held their hand. She had lain motionless as ever.

Elliot swallowed hard as he stroked her tiny hand that was as soft as a rose pedal. The only saving Grace was that she was being kept warm. If her skin had been cold to the touch Elliot wasn't sure what he would have done. At least she gave off the vague sense that she was only sleeping.

"I want her to look at me," Olivia whispered so softly only Elliot could hear drawing him out from his thoughts. "I want her to see how much love I have for her."

"She will," Elliot mumbled as he kissed the side of Olivia's head. "You just gotta give her a chance. You have to have some hope that she'll come out of this okay."

"What if she's in pain?" was Olivia's only soft spoken response

Elliot closed his eyes as more tears leaked from them. "Olivia." His voice was wavering and his hands shook violently. "I know what I did was wrong and you can never forgive me for it. But please don't make that choice because you're angry at me."

"This isn't about you!" Olivia snapped angrily. "This stopped being about you the moment I was told I was going to have to make the choice rather or not to keep her alive! Stop being so God damn self-centered! This is about our daughter! What is best for us or how much I want to scream at you and hate you for not believing me doesn't matter now! The only thing that matters now is her!"

"You're right," Elliot agreed. "The only thing that matters is her, meaning you should give her a chance to live, Olivia. If she's anything like her mother you know she'd want to fight like hell all the way. Please, Olivia. Give her a chance. It's is my fault she's like this and I'm sorry that you're stuck with the aftermath of my incredibly stupid decision not to believe you but don't… don't make me relive this decision every day that she's not with us. I know I have a lot of nerve and have no right asking you for anything right now but please, Olivia. This will be the last thing I ever ask from you. Give her a chance…"

Olivia shut her eyes against the tears that invaded her eyes and held her daughter closer to her heart holding her tighter as if she was willing some of her own life into the infant.

She opened her misty eyes and turned towards Reynolds.

"We're gonna need a decision soon, Mrs. Stabler," he told her not unkindly.

Olivia nodded and turned back towards her daughter and gently stroked her cheek. After a long moment Olivia swallowed hard and turned back towards the Doctor. "Keep her on life support. Save my baby."

Holding back any protests that wanted to fall from his mouth Reynolds nodded. "I'll go let the nurses know."

With that Reynolds walked out of the room leaving the small family alone.

Elliot walked over and made a move to hold the baby but Olivia clung to her tighter. "I want you to call up Alex when it gets light out," Olivia muttered not taking her eyes away from their infant. "I want you to tell her to start drawing up custody and divorce papers. "

Her words crashed down like slabs of concrete on Elliot. His earlier actions and promise was now coming full circle to torment him to the point of madness. But his earlier words came back to him he also knew how true they were. If never seeing the two things who meant the world to him and who he would die for meant they got to live happily ever after, he would do it.

As Elliot looked down at the newborn in Olivia's arms he swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat. "First thing in the morning," he muttered. "Can I just… Can I stay with you two until I do? Please."

Olivia nodded wordlessly and Elliot pulled up a comfortable looking chair from the corner of the room and led his wife to it. He kneeled beside it and looked up at the two of them with wet eyes. "Can I… Can I hold her?"

Olivia swallowed hard and after a long moment of debating she gently handed her over to Elliot who took her in his arms. He smiled down at her and held her close to his wildly thumping heart as tears ran down his face and fell onto the baby's soft, smooth, skin.

**Please Review. More to come**.


	4. Chapter 4

I own n o one but my own people

A/N I know I'm long overdue with this chapter but I'm dreadfully sorry, and this chapter makes up for it. I also know I promised just one more chapter but blame Krypteria for being so dang awesome at being so dang epic and intense while being depressing. So just forget what I sad about it being a 3 shot. And a 4 shot. And just pretend I said it was a 5 shot all along AND I already have the last chap half way written so I KNOW it's gonna end there. As always review and enjoy :-)

"Thanks," Elliot muttered before he hung up the phone on Alex. He swallowed hard before he walked slowly back to the room where his daughter and wife were. Elliot looked in the window of the small room, tears flooding his eyes when he saw Olivia holding their daughter in a dark blue Lazy Boy recliner, slowly rocking back and forth as she hummed a soft lullaby to her child. He saw the thin smile shine through her tears as one finger gently stroked the side of the infants silk like cheek.

Elliot closed his eyes as he leaned up against the glass separating him and his family, trying to memorize every single detail of the beautiful sight before him. From the faded light pink paint on the walls to the faint beeping of the machines hooked up to their baby, from the pure unwavering love in Olivia's eyes as she looked down at their daughter to the pink fleece blanket wrapped tightly around the infant. Everything was relevant, nothing was insignificant.

After a long moment Elliot's eyes slowly opened. He took a lengthy deep breath before he gathered up what was left of his courage and walked into the room gently shutting the door behind him. Olivia didn't even flinch as he walked into the room; her steady gentle rocking never breaking pattern as he walked up to her.

"I called Alex," he told her as he sat down beside her in the less comfortable wooden rocking chair. "She'll draw up the papers at the end of the week. You know… give us time to think things over," he told her eyeing her carefully, leaving out the fact that he had begged and pleaded for Alex to do him that one favor.

Her face never changed. Her eyes never parted from their daughter. She gave no notion that she had heard him at all. Elliot took another deep breath before he cleared his throat again and glanced down at the carpet. "Do you… I mean did you think things over?"

"When I get to see my daughter's eyes open," said Olivia still not looking away from her child, "then maybe I'll reconsider but until then or even at all… You hurt me way too much for me to take it back. There was a chance we could have saved her and because you thought I was some worrisome first time mom we didn't get it. If she doesn't come out of this or it turns out she's in pain and I'm prolonging her suffering or she's so severely damaged her life will be better spent on this ventilator I don't even know how I'll be able to look at you at work much less lay in your bed next to you."

"Well then," Elliot choked out as he reached over and gently rubbed her back forcing a smile through her tears, ignoring her cruel words he knew he rightfully deserved. "I guess I'll be calling up Alex before the day is out and telling her to shred the papers."

Olivia paid him no mind as she as she continued to rock steadily back and forth in the chair. Elliot took a long shuddering breath before he reached out towards her. Olivia hesitated for a long while before she gently handed their daughter off to him.

"Hi, Sweetie," he whispered gently as he began his own mild rocking pattern. "It's time for you to wake up so I can apologize to you. Come on, beautiful. Please wake up for Daddy."

As per the previous pleas and requests aimed at the child she ignored it. Elliot swallowed hard as he looked down at their daughter and despite all of the dismay going on around them he managed a teary smile for the first time in hours. "You know I don't think she'll appreciate waking up and knowing her name for the first few hours was 'baby girl Stabler.' Are we still going with Maya Nichole?"

Olivia shook her head and Elliot's brow furrowed. That had been the name Olivia had been head over heels in love with for as long as he could remember. Even before they found out they were having a girl she ordered a custom made blanket with the name 'Maya' sown into the center 'just in case' she had told him when she showed it to him. "Why not?" asked Elliot. "What happened?"

Her only response was another head shake and Elliot's heart sank. "Olivia, why don't you like that name anymore?"

"You don't need to know," she whispered so faintly he could barely hear her. "Just drop it. I don't want Maya anymore, that's all you need to know."

"No that's not all I need to know because I know you love that name. Tell me why you don't want her named that anymore."

Olivia sighed as her eyes shut while she leaned her head against the chair. "Because Maya… Because Maya Nichole Benson doesn't sound nearly as good as Maya Nichole Stabler does."

"Olivia, what are you -." And all at once the reason for her wanting to change the name hit him with the force of a thousand pounds. She didn't want her to have his last name.

Elliot swallowed hard and silently nodded before he handed the baby back to Olivia. He got up from his chair and left the room shutting the door behind him. He leaned against the wall for a long moment, trying his hardest to control his breathing and the tears that threatened to escape. Just as he closed his eyes against the world before him he snapped them back open as Olivia's frantic scream reached his ears.

Elliot sprinted back in the room and his heart nearly stopped when a loud shrill beeping echoed in his ears. "She's not breathing!" Olivia sobbed as Elliot ran up to them. "I- I don't know what happened!" Elliot looked down and noticed that the tiny chest wasn't rising and falling as it had been the last few hours and her skin was already turning a faint shade of blue.

He took the baby gently from Olivia's grasp with minimal protest and laid her back in the crib just as Reynolds as several other doctors ran into the room.

"Come on," Elliot whispered low in his wife's ears as he took a hold of her shoulders. "We need to leave."

"I can't leave her!" Olivia cried as she fought against his hold as he led her away from the confusion around the crib.

"We have to," he told her as he pulled her backwards. "Just for a little while."

Olivia finally let herself be taken out of the room. Once out of the room she rounded on the room and pressed her face tight against the glass with Elliot standing behind her gently rubbing her arms. She may have hated him but there was nothing in this world that would stop him from loving her and being there for her, especially when she needed him now more than anything.

"She'll be fine," he whispered in her ear assuring himself more than her. "She has to be fine…"

When one of the Doctors noticed the frightened parents gazing on, she hurried over and shut the blinds blocking their view from the inside.

When they lost the view of their daughter Olivia let out a desperate crying sob and her knees buckled beneath her. Elliot caught her easily before he pulled her away from the window. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head before they closed and she went completely limp.

"We need a doctor!" he shouted as he kneeled down on the floor and held her tight in his embrace. "Olivia," he cried out as he shook her slightly. He felt something wet and warm against him and when he looked down he saw a massive wet blood stain leaking through her gown covering her mid section and by no means did it look like it was stopping anytime soon. "Come on, Liv, wake up. Olivia, don't you dare do this to me too! Olivia!"

Elliot let out a frantic sob and tightened his hold on her and rested his head against hers. "Don't leave me…"

Another team of medical professionals rushed over to her with a stretcher in tow and Elliot very reluctantly released them to her while still clinging tight to her hand.

"She's hemorrhaging, we need to get her into the OR," one of the Doctors announced.

"But she already had the baby!" Elliot protested as they lifted her onto the stretcher. "How the hell can she be hemorrhaging?"

"She has a boggy uterus," the Doctor explained hastily as they began racing her down the halls towards the OR. "It happens sometimes after a woman gives birth and judging by all of the stress her body has been put through, not to mention she's not resting like she should be, it's a miracle it hasn't happened sooner."

Elliot swallowed any more arguments of fights and instead just held her hand tightly as they rolled her towards the OR. When they passed the point where Elliot was no longer allowed to go he simply stood there, his shaking hands covered in his wife's blood.

As if he was in a trance he slowly made his way to the waiting room. He sat down in the chair closest to him before he bowed his head and clasped his hands tightly together. He tried to do what he had been taught to do in an emergency since he was old enough to go to Church. He began to pray but his silent words were empty, hallow, meaningless, like he was saying them merely out of habit or like he was saying them to someone who wasn't there or who didn't care enough to listen…

For the first time since Elliot could remember, he had lost all hope in his religion and his deity. He might lose his wife and daughter on one of the holiest days of the year after he had made it a point to go to Church every Sunday since Olivia told him, with a beaming grin and joyful tears in her eyes, that she was pregnant. His last line of defense had abandoned him after the woman he loved had forsaken him as well.

Elliot Stabler was a man with absolutely nothing…

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